The definitive, step by step guide to develop a well-rounded personality
Personality Development is improving the quality of life by tweaking our behaviour and enhancing our strengths. Scour the internet, and you will find numerous guides on essential soft skills like communication, personal habits, interpersonal skills, etc., to develop your personality. We present Personality Defect Removal, the most overlooked part of personality development. By addressing the flaws in your personality (which are termed Personality Defects), you will be able to effect long-term positive changes that will lead to an overall increase in the quality of your physical, psychological, and spiritual health.
Let us walk together on this journey of discovering and unlocking your hidden potential. If you need any assistance, feel free to join us in our free online Satsangs. You can click the link (shared later on the page) and sign up for the Satsangs.
Before you start your journey, we advise you to read the following piece on the Personality Defect Removal process. The Personality Defect Removal process has been devised by Sachchidananda Parabrahman Dr Jayant Athavale, a now-retired clinical hypnotherapist of world renown. It is a simple but powerful technique to identify and replace your shortcomings with qualities that will positively impact your personality. This is the secret to real personality development.
The importance of Personality Defect Removal process
There is a saying in Sanskrit – मन एव मनुष्याणां कारणं बन्धमोक्षयोः (The mind is the cause of bondage and liberation of man)
Personality defects or flaws are the primary cause for discontent in life. These flaws affect interpersonal relationships, work environments, and self-worth. Click to read more…
Now that you know the basics, let’s start!
The only tools you require to improve your personality –
Personality Development in Seven Steps
Implementing the Personality Defect Removal process has 7 steps.
Listing Personality Defects or Flaws
The first step to change is acknowledging our shortcomings. Click on the embedded spreadsheet. It has a curated list of personality defects that hinder our growth. Go through the list objectively and prepare your own list of personality flaws.
Prepare a list of your PDs. A sample list is provided on the link beow.
Filling the Personality Defects chart
We suggest you commit yourself to the PDR chart writing activity every day for one week. Feeling overwhelmed by how much you need to write? Slow down and write down only those situations that evoked strong emotions. Alternatively, you can pick a couple of personality defects and write down situations pertaining to these defects. Then you can slowly start noting even small incidents that cause momentary discomfort.
People who regularly write the PDR chart have seen a change in the way they approach different situations merely by writing the situations down. So you’ll get there! Persevere!
We even have a sample of how the PDR chart can be filled out.
Now that you have identified your shortcomings, let us move on to the next step. From the introductory piece on personality defects and how the mind works, you have an idea of how your mind reacts to situations. Now you train your mind to think positively. Think of your mind as a young child. The child is filled with endless possibilities but tends to stray and make mistakes. So we have to gently guide the child on the right path by repeatedly telling them to discern the right from the wrong. That is precisely what we will do by employing Autosuggestions.
What is an autosuggestion?
Autosuggestions are suggestions to the subconscious mind to substitute incorrect actions, thoughts or reactions with appropriate actions, thoughts or reactions. To put it simple, autosuggestions are suggestions to the subconscious mind to behave appropriately and correctly. It entails affectionately making the mind understand and accept the correct view. Here, you will give the appropriate suggestion through the conscious mind to the subconscious mind as needed.
Suppose you wake up late in the morning because of laziness, then all your subsequent activities either get delayed or hurried. You are delayed in going to the office and this irritates you. To avoid this, you need to overcome laziness. For this, you need to tell your mind that ‘When my alarm rings in the morning I will wake up immediately’. Saying this to the mind consistently is known as an autosuggestion.
There is no one size fits all formula when framing autosuggestions. So different personality defects have to be addressed differently based on their expression. Click on the blocks below to understand how each Autosuggestion technique works and the types of personality defects it targets.
Now that you know how to frame autosuggestions, we suggest you pick two or three defects from your daily PDR chart and frame autosuggestions. Are you confused about which ones to start with? There is an easy way to decide which ones to pick. Click the link below to see how you can sort your list of personality defects and which ones to choose.
A word of caution now! You must also know how ‘not’ to frame an autosuggestion. You see, like a petulant child, the mind does not like to be told ‘no’. So you have to frame the autosuggestion with positive words and phrases. Read on and frame effective autosuggestions.
Wonderful! Now that you have reached this stage, you have successfully amassed all the tools required to start effecting positive and long-lasting changes in your personality!
Now you have
It is time to start seeing a better you!
The autosuggestions will imprint the correct positive thought on your mind. For that, you must repeatedly read or rehearse the autosuggestions. This is known as an autosuggestion session. With enough sessions, when faced with a situation in your autosuggestion, the mind is prompted to recall the correct response (it could be a positive thought or action).
The following link details what a typical autosuggestion session looks like.
Chanting and Prayers
Now you must be wondering what chanting and prayers have to do with a psychological process. The process is certainly psychological, but is it only psychological? We have often heard of people who try to overcome their personality defects but fail for some inexplicable reason.
When Sachchidananda Parabrahman Dr Athavale devised this system of repeating autosuggestions to overcome personality defects, He faced this issue too. In His studies, He found that while most of the problems in life are attributed to either physical or psychological causes, there is a third one, the ‘spiritual’ cause. This spiritual cause accounts for almost 80% of the issues. So it is important to address the spiritual root cause if we want a long-lasting solution. That is where chanting and prayers come into play. Click on the link to read it in detail.
We strongly suggest that you prepare a daily routine with provisions for at least five autosuggestion sessions. With regular sessions, you should notice positive changes in your behaviour. Though after a while continuing to read the same autosuggestions will get repetitive and dull. So it is time to change the autosuggestions. Your daily diary (the PDR chart) has a column for autosuggestions. Pick a new one for the personality defect you have chosen to overcome and replace your existing autosuggestion with the new one.
Coming to the question that probably is on your mind right now – how long does it take to overcome a personality defect. It all depends on you! For tips on when to change the personality defect to work on…
Any activity that does not involve some feedback or reporting mechanism tends to become mediocre or tapers to stagnation. To avoid this, ensure you can share your weekly efforts and progress with someone. It could be a sibling, an elder in the home, or a trusted friend. You can see how to provide feedback by clicking on the next link. This weekly exercise will also keep you on your toes as it will be a reminder to put in consistent efforts in your Personality Defect Removal process.
Our Satsangs also have a feedback session where seekers will help you analyse your mistakes, frame autosuggestions, and provide guidance on how to gain the most from this process. So, sign-up for the Satsangs today!
Sometimes the flaw or defect you are working on may be intense. Sometimes your seriousness about the process may wane. In either case, it may seem that your efforts (writing mistakes, autosuggestions) are not resulting in any change in your behaviour. Then, condition your mind to acknowledge the consequences of the incorrect thought or action. For this, you can atone for your mistake. Atonement could be in the form of some deed that will create a strong awareness about the personality defect.
Reinforcing your qualities
Have you heard of the story where a King posed a teaser before his ministers? He drew a line and challenged his ministers to shorten it without touching or modifying it. The solution? Draw a lengthier line beside it! Similarly, if you want to overcome your personality flaws quickly, we suggest you complement your efforts with a character-building exercise called inculcating virtues. You already have good qualities in you. With this process, your mind will start focussing on the virtues that counter the character flaw you have chosen to work on. Understand the process of inculcating or enhancing your virtues to increase the effectiveness of the personality defect removal process by clicking on the next link.
You have chosen to embark on this incredibly fulfilling journey of unlocking your potential. And we are here to help you. Join us in our free online Satsangs where we will undertake this journey together with many others. The advantage of doing this activity with others is that you learn from them, and they, you. You also can have your queries resolved in real-time. So, sign-up for our free Satsangs today! Click the link below!
Send us your experiences with the Personality Defect Removal process on [email protected] We would love to hear from you!