A lot of incidents leading to mental stress and unhappiness are generated in the lives of the people who have many personality defects. Hence, such people are depressed and unhappy. Besides, the harm caused to them can be understood from some examples given below, both in their work life as well as personal life
- Reduction in self-confidence
- Becoming introverted and selfish
- Becoming irritable and short-tempered
- Greater possibility of these people becoming addicts
- Living in bad company and begin to steal, become hooligans, etc.
Personality defect removal (PDR) means getting rid of one’s personality defects.The process of personality defect removal is a specific process, methodically and consistently implemented to overcome personality defects.
1. Importance of personality defects removal
A. Enables us to lead a happy and ideal life
There are various harmful effects caused by personality defects such as laziness, being disorganized, being arrogant, finding faults in others, etc. In short, personality defects make life unhappy and depressing. Implementing the PDR process helps bring control over personality defects and leads to development of virtues; hence, life becomes happy and ideal.
B. Enables personality development in the true sense
For personality development & making it ideal, many people adopt various measures such as higher education, acquiring skills in a favourite field, studying different languages, answering competitive examinations, body-building through exercise and play. In reality, true personality development takes place when personality defects such as fear, inability to converse and not thinking about others are overcome. Only a personality that is free of such defects can impress a person he/she deals with or society. Hence, for personality development,overcoming personality defects is essential.
C. Enables us to face difficult situations in life easily
Many people get psychologically disturbed in difficult situations.The PDR process makes the mind strong, improves concentration and activates the power of discrimination. It enables a person to remain firm in a difficult situation and prevents the mind from inappropriate or impulsive actions.
D. Enables us to remain in
the forefront in today’s competitive age
Implementation of the PDR process saves mental energy from being spent on unnecessary aspects. It results in optimal utilisation of the individual’s ability, thereby,enabling him to remain ahead in today’s competitive age.
2. How to implement the PDR process ?
Following are the steps in implementing PDR process :
A. Prepare a list of your personality defects
B. Fill the ‘Personality Defects’ chart
C. Frame autosuggestions
D. Give autosuggestions
E. Take atonement
F. Chant the Name of God and pray for overcoming personality defects
G. Report about your PDR process
3. Prepare a list of your personality defects
Every individual has some or the other personality defect. Only God has no personality defects; because He has all virtues. Always remaining in a state on Anand(Bliss) is the nature of God. Let us now see which personality defects we need to overcome and which virtues to inculcate to remain in a state of Anand like God.Given ahead is a table with some personality defects and the corresponding virtues.Classification of the personality defects given ahead is an approximation to enable deciding on the severity of personality defects. Based on the temperament and personality defects of a person, this classification may change slightly.
|1. Personality defects that can adversely affect others to a greater extent|
|B. Quarrelsome||Mingling with others, forgiving|
|C. Short-tempered||Being understanding, affectionate|
|D. Irritable||Self-controlled and being peaceful|
|F. Looking down upon others||Respectful|
|2. Personality defects that can harm the self to a greater extent|
|A. Envious||Appreciating others, attitude of learning from others, not being greedy|
|B. Jealous||Appreciating others, not jealous of others, encouraging others,no animosity towards others|
|C. Suspicious||Not having any doubts, a feeling of security, trusting others|
|E. Egoistic||Having no ego, being humble|
|H. Being ungrateful||Being grateful|
|3. Personality defects that may be least distressing to the self|
|A. Laziness||Being prompt, hardworking|
|B. Inability to concentrate||Ability to concentrate|
|C. Lacking self-confidence||Self-confidence|
|D. Being poor in decision making||Having good decision making ability|
|E. Not taking initiative||Taking initiative, not being shy,not retracting, being fearless|
|F. Lack of perseverance||Having perseverance|
4. Filling the Personality Defects chart !
A. Identifying mistakes
You are supposed to write the mistakes you commit during the day in the PDR chart. At times we use words that hurt others, at other times we are unreasonably stubborn, etc. Just as these acts are termed as mistakes, inappropriate thoughts, reactions or emotions are also termed mistakes; for example, developing hatred for someone.Let us see how to identify all such mistakes.
- Identifying your own mistakes : While performing daily activities if you make a firm resolve to identify your own mistakes and remain alert, then you will be able to identify many mistakes.
- Do not have a narrow-minded attitude, but try to find the extent of your contribution in the mistake ! : Sometimes, people accept their mistakes; but in doing so, they tend to think that they have contributed very little to the mistake. Thinking in this way is harmful from the perspective of self-improvement. Even if your contribution in the mistake is negligible, take complete responsibility for it.
- Seek help to identify your own mistakes : Sometimes you may fail to identify your mistakes. Request your colleagues, relatives, siblings, and friends etc. to make you aware of them. Accept a mistake that is pointed out by others. Also, accept a mistake irrespective of the manner in which it has been pointed out to you, even in an angry tone.
B. Filling the Personality Defects chart
Prepare a Personality Defects Removal (PDR) chart for noting mistakes in a notebook during the day as given ahead. Take a double page of the notebook facing each other. Make 3 columns on the first page and 3 more columns on the next page.
|Duration of the mistake,wrong action, wrong reaction or thought||Personality
/ remedy for
the right action or right
|Number of autosuggestion
- Column 1 : Mistake, inappropriate action, reaction or thought. Begin by writing the tithi and date in brackets horizontally. Write your mistakes, wrong actions, thoughts and reactions that you have realised or have been made aware of by others throughout the day. If others have made you aware of the mistake, mention that too. Write the effect of every mistake identified.
- Column 2 : Duration of mistake, wrong action, wrong reaction or thought – Write after how long you became aware of the mistake.
- Column 3 : Personality defect – Study the incident and identify the personality defect due to which it has taken place, and write it in this column. At the root of some mistakes, there is more than one personality defect; write all related personality defects.
- Column 4 : Frame autosuggestion with the right action, right thought or right response and write it in this column. To overcome personality defects our mind has to be given autosuggestions. If you think of or find a method to avoid a mistake, then write it down too in this column.
- Column 5 : The number of autosuggestion sessions during the day – When writing the number of autosuggestion sessions performed during the day, note the timing too, such as first at 7 a.m., second at 10.30 a.m., third at 2 p.m. etc.).
- Column 6 : Progress – In this column, mention if progress with respect to reducing related personality defects has been noticed. For example, earlier someone else had to make me aware of this mistake, now I am becoming aware of it myself. The day you notice some progress, fill the progress column. At such times, all other columns in this row will remain unfilled.
5. Other efforts required
to overcome personality defects
If along with autosuggestions the following efforts aremade to overcome personality defects, then they will be more beneficial.
- Make efforts for each action to be perfect & thorough
- Avoid repeating mistakes.
- Take atonement if there is no reduction in the personality defects. Some people keep repeating mistakes because of not being serious about eliminating their personality defects, not having a feeling of repentance for the mistakes, personality defects being intense etc. At such times, taking atonement proves to be beneficial. Select an atonement which will be beneficial in overcoming personality defects; for example, if there is no sanskar (Subconscious impressions) of keeping clothes tidily, then along with your own clothes, fold the clothes of other people tidily as atonement. Take atonement of doing something against your will. This will help in creating strong awareness.
- Inculcate virtues which are opposite to personality defects : To overcome the personality defect of anger, the virtue of love should be inculcated.
- Chanting the Name of Kuladevata (Family Deity) : Chanting is a good sanskar. The more you impress a good sanskar upon your mind, greater will be the extent of reduction in bad sanskars and finally they will be eliminated.
- Praying : Praying is pleading at the Holy feet of God. To overcome personality defects in self, surrender unto God and pray. By obtaining God’s blessings, we are able to overcome personality defects faster. Throughout the day, pray to God intermittently in the following manner – O God ! With Your grace, let me become aware of my personality defects and let me be able to make efforts with yearning to overcome them.
6. How to give feedback of the
process of overcoming personality defects ?
On an average, give feedback once a week on your own about your efforts to overcome personality defects,changes noticed in your personality, etc. to a responsible seeker, your parents or elder sibling. This process is known as giving feedback.With the thought that you have to give feedback to someone,efforts are made with greater yearning.
While giving a feedback, pray first and report these aspects.
- Personality defects selected
- Mistakes you have come across daily pertaining to these personality defects
- Mistakes pointed out by others
- Number of autosuggestion sessions performed everyday
- Efforts made to overcome personality defects & success attained : While narrating this aspect, specify the stage when the awareness of PD takes place, meaning, after the wrong action has taken place (first stage), while the wrong action is taking place (second stage) or while the wrong action is about to take place (third stage).
- While giving feedback, also show the ‘Personality Defect’ chart.
- During the PDR process if you have any doubts or obstacles, resolve them as well.
- If there is no one to report to, then with a bhav (Spiritual emotion) that God is sitting in front of you, show the report to God.
- At the end of the reporting offer gratitude.